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February 14th, 2011

Really? @ 08:25 pm

Current Mood: annoyed annoyed
Current Music: Kid Cudi

 Did you really have to bring him up and even compare him to this situation? I'm talking to this kid because I'm nice and it's Valentine's Day and I need my attention from somewhere. Luke was so much different. I liked him even before we started talking. I don't think I've ever said more than three words to this kid in my life. So don't even try to compare him to Luke. And don't bring Luke up with me. I thought you were the biggest advocate of me getting over him? If you were, you wouldn't bring him up, especially today. Fuck you.
 

February 10th, 2011

And something else. @ 08:02 pm

Current Mood: crappy crappy
Current Music: Kid Cudi
Tags:

 God, I'm so angsty today. Whatever. I need to bitch about something somewhere.

If you have something to say, say it to my face please. Don't put it in some god damn post about your shitty day and try to incorporate it into your guidelines for living, because it just makes you look like a petty bitch. I'd really like if if you could come up to me and say, don't go after every girl that the guy you liked talks to, she's not a whore. It's not that hard, I mean you are my best friend, right? It should be an easy conversation, because I'd say, I know you're right, I know I shouldn't, but it's hard because I'm a jealous bitch and I still like this kid, even though I try so god damn hard to tell myself that I don't. And then you go and try to brush it off like it's nothing and continue bitching about other things our friends do. Yeah, I get it that it's annoying and that I should stop focusing on him so much, but do you even understand how hard it is? Yeah, you've had boyfriends, but I don't think you can even begin to understand how your relationships are different than mine. I get so attached and I develop deep relationships with people. Yours are all about sex and trying to fuck, so yeah. I think how we view this situation is a little different. I miss this kid, I miss him so god damn much and if I want to, I'll fucking talk about him. I mean, you did say that I can talk / bitch about him to you, because you'd listen and you understand. So why can't I bitch about this to you? And anyway, since when are you one to defend this stupid bitch that I don't like? Yeah, maybe my reason for not liking her is shallow and meaningless, but I have a right to my own opinion and I think it's a pretty legitimate reason. And it's not like I'm even going to post this because you would get so angry at me you probably wouldn't talk to me tomorrow and I just do not need that right now. I've been having the shittiest couple weeks ever Katie. Do you understand that? Do you understand how hard it is for me to deal with this? On top of all the other shit I constantly deal with? You think there's an easy solution for this, I need to change my attitude about people and stop thinking about this kid, simple, right? Not so much, it's not that easy. I'm not the one that needs and attitude change, I may need to stop thinking about Luke so much, but it's hard. It is really hard when I see him all the time. I may need to stop being so mean to my mom, but she needs to stop being such a controlling bitch too. Once she loosens up, I'll try to think differently, but for now, I'm staying how I am. This all started because of one thing. Yeah, one thing that you said I brought upon myself. Well, I'm sorry, but did I bring low self-esteem upon myself too, because that's where this all started. So you're saying that my horrible self-esteem started this whole shitfest of shittieness? Well good, because I'm sure that's something solid to blame; someone's self-esteem. If I had had some confidence in myself a year ago, I would not be in this situation right now. I wouldn't be the unhappy, angsty, bitch that I am today. So good, as long as you can recognize that then I'm fine. But if you're just going to say it was my stupidity that brought this all upon myself, then you can blatantly go fuck yourself, because you clearly do not see the whole picture. You don't see what was going on, because you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't notice when other people are feeling shitty unless they complain straight to your face. And then you try to fix how they're feeling, but go and complain about them complaining behind their backs. That is such a good way to go about dealing with things, I'm so glad you want to be a clinical psychologist, I'm glad you want to help people with their problems for a living, because you're just so great at it already.
 

July 13th, 2010

i swear i'll make my move tonight @ 01:50 am

so. i'm on a fucking high right now. from warped tour.
it's mostly a Show Me The Skyline high.
because, it was the first time i saw them live, and i've loved them for a while now.
it was super exciting. and i think that the singer, larzz, is absolutely, incredibly adorably attractive
and he's only 17, and from CT. so shit's good xD ;D
lmao
but really. they're just a superb band, and i completely love them so.
not to mention, all of them are super attractive. so that's just a plus.


asdlkfhsdfj;sdkfj.
i just can't stop.
like. i love them so muchh
weee. smts <3
larzz <3
:D lulz
i need to stop.
 

July 9th, 2010

UGH.UGH.UGH. @ 03:30 am

Current Mood: aggravated aggravated
Tags:

okay.
i think i'm just fed up with fucking everything.
or, no, not everything.
and not everyone.
just one single person, but i'd like to tell myself that it's not just her
because she is my best friend.
maybe i'm just sick of her, i mean, i have seen her EVERYDAY for the past month.

for one.
i don't like to be criticized every time i say something.
i do not give a fuck if you think that it is wrong. 
i am entitled to my OWN opinion, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
so fucking what if i don't like that girl?
i'm a shallow bitch.
i think she's ugly, and she has a thing with the guy i like
i'm jealous, and jealousy has turned into a shallow dislike
and something about her just makes me want to cut a bitch
also. fuck you. i can dislike the fucking band if i want
and no, i don't not like anyone in the band
i like every one of the members. yes, even that one.
he may creep, but he's nice 
so suck it.

and i think i know about my life more than you.
i know the things that i habitually do and the things that i spontaneously do
i also remember things more accurately than you do.
so forgive me if i get one thing wrong, you don't have to freak out and correct me
but i think i'd know if i did something ridiculous.
don't try to pin everything on me.

ALSO.
that kid you're talking to?
don't think it's anything special.
he's just a random creeper.
also. don't fucking tell him you're in love or anything.
that's just fucking STUPID. RETARDED.
POOR LIFE DECISIONS. legitimately. not like mine.
he could be a fucking rapist for all you know.
don't go telling him random shit to make yourself sound cool
you are going to get yourself in trouble, or hurt or something.
don't turn him into what you made the last boy you went for.
sending pictures and doing things like that is retarded.
it can get you in trouble.
jesus fucking christ.
get some sense in your head!
you tell me i'm stupid. you tell me i make poor life decisions. you tell me i'm doing the wrong thing.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND TRY TO TELL ME ITS NOT WRONG.
TRY TO TELL ME THAT ITS NOT BAD. TELL ME IT CAN'T GET YOU HURT OR IN TROUBLE.
fuck.

and excuse me if i like too look good.
i'm sorry that i care about my body and my weight and my health.
i want to look good. i want to be able to wear a bikini and look good.
i take care of myself and i manage my weight.
sorry you can't fucking do that so you gave up.
it's not my fault.
losing weight was my own personal thing, and i didn't want anyone else in on it
i didn't ask you to loose any with me, you decided on your own, because i was
so don't go bitching to me when i've lost twice my goal and you haven't
i am confident and i look good.
sorry i'm a conceited bitch
i look hot. you don't.
suck it?
yeah, that was harsh.
but fuck it. i'm angry and don't give a shit.
and that summer goal?
yeah, that was kind of more for me too.
i don't give a fuck if you don't want to do it anymore just because you think you've found a guy
WHO IS A CREEP!
i'm doing what i want, and i'm dealing with the consequences. on my own.
so fucking what if it's stupid. it's my life.
i do what i want.

and why i like bootcamp?
because it keeps me in shape, and it keeps me looking good.
i am sorry that i am in shape and i can exercise with out getting tired
i'm in better shape than you and that's why i can tolerate it
also, don't be a bitch to the instructor just because you are intimidated by her
if you're giving up on it, be nice to her and explain why
don't just give her a bullshit message and expect me to tell her that you're not coming
because i will tell her that you are a fat, lazy bitch

why do you have to over exaggerate everything too?
i don't think you got fucking sun poisoning from getting a sunburn at the beach.
just because you felt sick, doesn't mean it's sun poisoning
you can feel like that after getting a regular burn too.
so shut the fuck up, stop trying to make people pity you
it's bull shit

and who the fuck only buys one shirt at warped?
don't even think that you are going to get any money out of me.
i've spent enough on you. 
that's my hard earned money that i hate spending
you owe me money still. and yeah, i'm going to hold you to that until you pay me back.
i hate how you eat. close your fucking mouth please, or i am going to throw up on you.
and don't complain to me about your fucking back hurting.
because it always hurts, and i don't want to hear your shit
i can complain, because mine doesn't always hurt, and i sleep on the uncomfortable bed
you took the comfy futon, so suck it up bitch.
i could make you sleep on the fucking floor.
and clean up your messes bitch. i like my room clean.
don't throw all your shit on the floor and expect me to deal with it because that's what you do at your house
your room is a fucking disgusting mess. it is absolutely atrocious. 
that's not how i do.
also, don't take my clothes and then pretend that they are yours.
i know when something is mine. mkay? i bought that shit, i can obviously recognize it
i give you back all your clothes, and i tell you if i'm wearing your shit too.
so, it would be nice if you returned the favor
i'm still waiting on jeans and band tees from a couple years ago.
seriously. get your own life.
i live mine.
so get your own.
okay. last thing (possibly)
i had a reason to cry at graduation.
my BEST FRIEND of 11 years graduated and is going to college
you cried for a girl that you're friends with, that you've known for two years.
this might be shallow, but that's pretty much bull shit.
you two hung out once outside of school. 
that doesn't seem like a sincere friendship to me.
i don't care if you two shared the same problems with the same douche baggy guy.
it's bullshit.


fuck it.
i'm done.
suck my dick bitch.
i hope you get raped by the creep.
 

May 11th, 2010

May 10th, 2010

May 9th, 2010

May 7th, 2010


emoxalphabet